My Brother's Self-Esteem Issues

I've decided it's time for another "bro convo", where my brother says really funny things without realizing it and I embarrass him on the Internet. Except he's too apathetic, so it doesn't actually embarrass him. (Although he probably doesn't know what apathetic means).

The context is that my brother is forever playing this video game, Little Big Planet 2. There's an aspect of it that you can make levels, and some website is holding a level-making contest. My brother is making a level to the enter the contest. He and I are talking about his level that he is making.

Picture him playing a video game.

Bro: I think I can win if I can do this one part that I hope I can do but I don't think I can.

Me: Well, (making up random melody on the spot) just believe in yourself! Wait... there has to be an actual song like that...

Bro: What about that... Don't Stop Believin'?

Me: (singing) Don't stop! Believing! Hold on to that fe-e-eling... no, but I thought of another song... now you made me forget it...

Later

Me: I remembered the song! (sings "Who Says" by Selena Gomez) Who says... who says you're not perfect...

Bro: What's that supposed to be?

Me: Telling you to believe in yourself. For your level thing.

Bro: No, it's telling you you're not perfect.

Pause.

Bro: Wait, WHAT did the song say?

Yup. And the moral of the story is... DO NOT PLAY VIDEO GAMES WHILE YOUR SISTER IS TALKING TO YOU.

And obviously, I am singing so many uplifting self-esteem songs to my brother because it's an issue of his. I mean, just take a look at the evidence:

Me: Bro, do you have self-esteem issues?

Bro: What's that?

HAHA I love you, bro. ;)

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In other news... I finished the second draft of my current WIP!!!

**Also, I still have my draw for prizes/ask-the-teens project going on! Check that out HERE and spread the word, please!**

Living Inside Your Head Sometimes Is Harmful to Your Health

Source

OK, so my imagination already gives me ENOUGH troubles. But somehow it is the root of the cause of another overactiveimaginationitis-related disease. Namely, zoningoutitis. It is also known as "Staring Blankly Into Space" or "Checking Out Of The Normal, Alive World To A More Interesting World Inside The Head". Yeah, there are wikipedia articles on those guys, that's how legitimate they are (ha!).

Anyway, it's not MY fault my brain is so interesting. I mean, the things it thinks up...

For instance, I could be innocently washing off my bike with Automotive Cleaner and then all of a sudden I am launched into a world where I am an automotive cleaner entrepreneur, and my automotive cleaner has the motto/instruction "For Bikes and Stuff". Then, in this world in my brain, someone uses the cleaner for "and Stuff", it ends badly, and suddenly I am being sued and while being interviewed about this tragedy by the press I tell them that I just used that phrase because I thought it was funny and-

So yeah, I COULD be thinking something as crazy as that (heheh) until my brother could hypothetically spray me with the hose.

Or I could be thinking about all my cool blog readers and my cool blog ideas that are currently simmering, and then I wake up to find myself with a teaspoon of baking soda in my fingers and realizing I've forgotten I'm doubling the recipe for banana chocolate chip muffins AGAIN. I mean, hypothetically, this could be one of my zoningoutitis episodes. Hypothetically. Ahem.

So, with no further ado, THINGS TO LOOK FOR WHEN CONSIDERING YOU COULD POSSIBLY HAVE ZONINGOUTITIS. (Oh, and for those of you who have trouble reading smushedtogetherwords, that's zoning-out-itis).

PEOPLE  WAVING A LOT MORE

There is a strange fad sweeping the nation! It's not the weirdness of planking (seriously what the heck is with that?) but an even stranger trend: people are constantly waving their hands in front of your face! This is also usually accompanied by loud, "Hello?? HELLO!?? Um, [Your Name]!?!?!??"

But are you mistaken? Are you sure this isn't just a case of you ZONING OUT, and supposed fad-follower is just trying to get your attention? Examine these situations closely, people!

AN INCREASE IN BAD DRIVING

The number of times lately that you have almost been run over by a car, or a bike, or a bus, or really any moving vehicle, is getting to be too many to count! But, hey, look closer. Was it really the DRIVER of said bike/car/bus/cat? Or maybe you were thinking about how the entire world could be a hologram hiding another planet (kind of like The Matrix) and you stepped of the curb a little too soon.

PEOPLE MUMBLE FREQUENTLY

You have to say "What?" after pretty much every other sentence anyone says to you. You think that people really need to stop mumbling and SPEAK UP. But, wait. Are you REALLY paying attention to what people are saying? Or are you thinking of that bike rack you saw in Calgary that was loop-de-loop shaped, and how it would be really cool if you had a unicycle-riding lemur so it could ride the loops on the rack on its unicycle?

YOU END UP IN STRANGE PLACES A LOT MORE

You are suddenly staring at a teaspoon of baking soda that you don't remember filling up. You find yourself at the fridge, ready to pour yourself a nice cold glass of milk and- wait, why are you holding a plate!? Yeah, if you find yourself standing on a sidewalk somewhere, blinking and then going "How in the world did I get here?" then this is probably how it went:

8 AM LOCATION OF YOU: At home.
8:30AM-1:45 PM: LOCATION OF YOU: In your head.
2:00PM: LOCATION OF YOU: WHOA WHERE AM I!?!?

So, if you notice ANY of these things in your life, I am sorry to inform you but...

You are a sufferer of zoningoutitis. It's okay. We're all in this together. If you feel the need, go see your doctor for extra information and support. But I believe that the best thing for you to do is to reach out to the zoningoutitis sufferer community. We are here for you. We are all friends here, and we can help each other get through this. I promise.

*Disclaimer: I AM NOT A DOCTOR IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM. aka I am not qualified to make diagnoses.
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Note: all  very hypothetical (ahem) imaginings are courtesy of my brain, except for the lemur cyclist one which is courtesy of my brother.