A Twenty-Something's Existential Crisis About Publishing?

The other day I went out for coffee with my parents and my little brother, and among other things we talked about creative career aspirations. They were wondering whether I still wanted to be an author, since when I was a little kid, author was always the first thing on my list of dream jobs. I thought I'd go a bit more in depth about where my thoughts are at now, since they've changed a lot since I was five.

I was sure when I was younger that I would be one of those prodigies that was published at thirteen. My family was super impressed with my writing skill, after all, so I was sure I could wow the world. I never actually got around to that, as much as I stalked the careers of young published authors, but that was okay. I've written before about how I was glad I wasn't a teen published author, for a variety of reasons.

But things change, as they do. There was a while when I was in university that I kind of lost writing for a while. I learned a lot of things about life, but also was frozen with fear and didn't write much of anything for four years, and wondered if I even counted as a writer at all, kind of gave up on the dream for a while. It wasn't until I let go of my fears, perfectionism, and own personal pressures that I could actually enjoy writing again for what it was to me.

And now that I have found myself writing again, and really liking it, a lot, I've reconsidered over the years my thoughts on publishing. For one, I know a lot more about publishing than I did then. When I was younger, publishing was always presented as the obvious next step for someone who loved writing. Now, I understand that loving writing and publishing don't necessarily have to intertwine. I also know now that publishing is a business, first, and being an author is a job. Also, it's a business that doesn't necessarily pay well. Nicole Brinkley recently posted this super informative thread on Twitter on how authors get paid, if you want a glimpse into how a small piece of the business works. Tl;dr VERY few writers are able to work full time as authors. As Nicole put it:

For most authors, writing is a professional hobby—something they love but that cannot pay the bills.

For full-time authors, it’s increasingly important that people buy their books, or they might look up one day to no new book deals, no royalties, and no way to buy groceries.

— Nicole Brinkley @ Winter Institute (@nebrinkley) July 23, 2018

So the question I've been asking myself is, what do I want from this? My dad's question was, could a writer be happy just writing and enjoying that craft, and not pursue publishing at all? When I think about it, I totally think I could. Writing is what I like, after all. 

HOWEVER, I am also aware of how I let fear get in the way a lot of the time. Maybe I'm just too scared of all of the unknowns of pursuing publishing. And I have experienced the joy that can come from sharing stories with a wider audience, and the beautiful connections that can be born out of that. And I'm sure there are tons of lovely new experiences to be had in the path of publishing and pursuing an author career that I'm not even aware of yet.

And then there's the fact that there is not just one way to get your story out there, as so many things on the Internet have demonstrated: serial stories posted on websites, comic stories shared through Tumblr updates, self-published things that rise to stardom...

I don't have a good conclusion other than to say that I don't know? I don't really know what I think about publishing right now. Things I do know: I like writing, and in some way, shape or form, I'm pretty sure I want to use my stories to connect with other people. Whether that be a large or small circle is to be determined.

What are your thoughts on publishing? What kind of creative ways have you seen people get their stories out there? If you have pursued a career as an author, what advice would you have for people pursuing the same career path?

Hello, Wednesday! (What's Up Wednesday)

This week's post was going to be a long, really involved list of indigenous fantasy books out there, but as happens with a lot of research, I came up with an entirely different conclusion than I expected and thus have to completely rethink how I'm going to do that post. (Also if you have recommendations for fantasy/speculative fiction/sci-fi written by Indigenous authors, please let me know!) So today I'm just going to fall back on the ol' What's Up Wednesday formatting and we'll just have a nice chat. Grab yourself a cup of coffee or your preferred hot drink and get comfy.

Reading

All the fantasy! One of the reasons I want to make a book list is for my own TBR. I'm now to the third book in NK Jemisin's Broken Earth trilogy, The Stone Sky. I'm very excited to see how the end of this series ends up because so far each book in the series has ended with a solid bang. She's such a good writer, please go read her books.

Writing

After spending a few years working on two different contemporary books (which were necessary for my state of mind), I've delved deep into fantasy! I have about 25k of a new fantasy thing and it's so much fun! I love the crazy imagination that can go into fantasy. If you want to see a few lines of that, you can check out my #1linewed tweets on Twitter. This is also the first time I've ever spent a significant amount of time world-building and outlining before ever sitting down to write. My mind is always set on the concrete productivity of word count, so sitting down to spend hours not actually physically writing was torturous sometimes, but SO worth it. Now when I am writing, I don't get stuck (as often) after a few pages because I know the characters, the world, and where I want the story to go. I'm just like whyyy did I not do this before now?? I mean I'm still a pantser at heart (my outline is one page and a lot of "a bunch of stuff happens to get them from this point to this point"), but I'm definitely becoming a plotter convert.

Life

In my last update post about six months ago I said that I'd graduated university! Well I have since finished all traveling and settled into the ups and downs of funemployment as I look for work after university. It has been fun having more time to do personal projects, writing (hello, finishing two drafts in the space of three months), cooking and spending time with people, but I'm starting to get a bit antsy. I also feel like I may have been a bit ambitious with my goals for the blog this year, but it's still early yet! If you have any ideas or comments about what you might like me to write about on the blog this year, please comment and share! Or even tell me what your favourite kind of posts have been over the years.

Happy Wednesday!

Review: The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin

In one way, it's a lot easier to review books that I liked but didn't love all that much, because somehow then I'm actually able to step back and analyze the reasons why I liked a book, rather than just being blinded by my love. The Fifth Season turned out to be the kind of book where I don't really know how to put into words why I ended up liking it so much. I mean, other than I think that N.K. Jemisin is a genius.

The Fifth Season is the first book in an adult fantasy trilogy, and follows the lives of three different characters at different stages of life as they deal with the Seasons that Father Earth brings upon them, which are basically different kinds of apocalyptic weather events. Part of this intricately detailed world that N.K. Jemisin creates are people called orogenes, who are people that can control the earth itself. But they are also people who are feared and used for their skill set.

It's always a bit much to try to get into a new fantasy series for me, so at the beginning I was kind of hesitant and overwhelmed by all the new concepts and such being thrown at me. But what's that dumb phrase from The Fault in Our Stars? I fell in love slowly and then all at once? I found myself saying at the beginning that I might not get into this book and then eventually not being able to put it down. N.K. Jemisin has such a smooth writing style you barely notice you're being carried along.

I'm not going to spoil anything, but N.K. Jemisin also perfectly writes reveals - she drops just enough hints for you to figure something out, but just few enough you don't figure out anything too soon. It heightens the intrigue and suspense right to the mind-blowing climax at the end that just makes you want to keep reading.

While The Fifth Season is intense and suspenseful and intriguing like all good fantasy is, it's also rich in character and dives deep into human emotions. It reminds me of Billy Ray Belcourt's essay on the "poetry of sadness". The sorrow that comes through on the page is cathartic and beautiful to read. You know you've found a good book when it makes your heart squeeze with emotion, and beat rapidly in anticipation.

I hope I've managed to be at least somewhat articulate about The Fifth Season and N.K. Jemisin's work. If you aren't on her train already thanks to her three Hugo Award wins, you should get on it right now and pick up some of her work. (Also if you've read the rest of the trilogy say nothing because I'm not done them yet!!)

The Fifth Season on Amazon.ca
The Fifth Season on Amazon.com
The Fifth Season on Goodreads

Another Year, Another Chapter: 2019 Reading & Blogging Goals

Happy New Year! Well, so far this week we've gone over the books I've read this year, the blog this year, and today we're looking towards what's to come in the new year!

First, let's see how I did with my goals last year. Last year I didn't make a lot of specific goals, but general ideas for the directions I wanted to go with my reading, writing and blogging.

"I know I want to keep doing the same, reading lots of CanLit, lots of diverse literature, and reading even more widely than I do currently, whether that be through characters, setting, language, or genre. And I still want to keep reviewing and promoting books that I think deserve more love."

 For not having a certain goal or anything, I think I definitely did this to some extent. I've kept up my reading of CanLit and #ownvoices and diverse literature, just because that's the kind of books I keep on my lists and look for when I'm looking for something to read. And actually, a couple years ago my goal was to read 40% ownvoices and I wasn't quite there, but this year I hit it! Would love to surpass 40% though. I still want to read more in translation, and more book from non-Western authors. I also want to read some diverse fantasy! I've gotten a craving for fantasy recently and want to discover the different kinds of stories that are out there. There's so much more now than just Western European-based medieval fantasy, I love it.

As for reviewing, I did a bit of that, mostly prodded by books I was sent and stuff, but I want to do more!

"But I've recently got back into writing, and I want to start talking about that more too - including sharing more of my own writing and my thoughts behind that terrifying process."

 This was the second part of my vision for last year: share more writing, including my thoughts behind the process! I did a bunch of creative writing-type posts on my thoughts on writing which was super fun. I'm proud of those posts even if they aren't as popular to a larger audience. You can also check out some classic embarrassing childhood writing if you want too.

Besides these two visions for my blog, I've spent a lot of time this year actually WRITING. Which means I don't blog as much because I'm writing, but that's been really fun. I actually re-wrote two books, and started world-building for another one. I also won NaNoWriMo while doing one draft re-write. Who knew that university and assignments were so harmful to writing productivity??

So, next year! As I've talked about before, I've gone through many iterations of this blog - from fun, silly teen to actually having a vision for what I want this blog to be (see my about page if you're curious). And now this year, since I am done school and can actually have time to do some creative things, I want to commit a bit more to this blog. So here are my goals for next year:

1. Have a schedule, and post at least once a week.

I'm not sure exactly what the schedule will be yet, but I know I want to do way more reviews than I do currently (like more than just when I get ARCs sent to me to review).

2. Commit to Women in Translation Month!

Hopefully I won't be traveling as much this year in August, but even if I am I want to be prepared to actually have reviews and posts and stuff up on the blog! This will also help with reading books in translation and stuff.

3. Do more Local Book Nook posts! 

I also want to do get back to doing Local Book Nook posts. I have a few Local Book Nook posts, but I'd love to have a more extensive collection, featuring bloggers from all over the globe! Contact me if you know of a reader or blogger who might be interested in talking about their favourite local books!

4. Get up to 50% #ownvoices

Like I said, I read about 40% ownvoices (where the character shares the same identity as the author) books this year but I'd love to keep increasing that!

I think that's plenty for now, but please stick around to see what happens around here in the next year and please get involved! I'd love to work with you. Do you have any ideas for the blog this year? What are your favourite kinds of posts? What would you like to see?

End of Year Survey 2018 Part 2: Bookish/Blogging Life

Every year, Jamie at the Perpetual Page Turner puts together a survey to help you reflect on your year as a bookish blogger. I split my survey up into two parts. In part 1, which you can find here, I talk about some of the most interesting books I read this year. Today in part 2, I'll reflect a bit on my blogging and bookish life.

1. New favourite book blog/Bookstagram/YouTube channel you discovered in 2018?

I don't know! I'm not great at keeping up with or discovering new blogs these days. Any recommendations? I'm especially on the look out for book bloggers not in the US or Canada, or CanLit bloggers!

2. Favourite post you wrote in 2018?

I think probably the post Begin Again. I liked experimenting a bit more this year with more creative non-fiction type posts (even if they weren't as popular), and I think that post is probably my favourite. I like how it captures how I felt in the midst of and then after coming out of a years-long writing slump. I like writing about the more difficult side of writing, and I hope it helped at least a few people to know that they aren't alone in their struggles.

3. Favourite bookish related photo you took in 2018?

I have way too many pictures of my cats, but that's book-related, right? Cats are the ultimate reading companion. Here's a picture of my cat helping me with my 2 day poem contest entry.

4. Best bookish event you participated in this year?

I didn't blog about it (which now thinking about it is really silly), but I actually volunteered at a local writer's festival this year (it's one of the reasons I got so into poetry in the latter half of this year). It was probably the best thing I did. I got to meet a lot of fellow writers, both published and unpublished, and I actually called myself a writer out loud, in public.And everyone was so incredibly warm and welcoming. It also solidified for me the notion that writing is something to be shared and is not a solitary thing. I also went to an author event for Eden Robinson at my local bookstore, which was super fun.

5. Best moment of bookish/blogging life in 2018?

 I don't know, I can't pick! Interviewing Kate Hart was pretty cool. So was having Shvaugn guest post for my Local Book Nook series. So was having incredible Canadian children's author Sheree Fitch follow me on Twitter! I love it all, and I can't wait to do more in the next year.

6. Most challenging thing about your blogging or reading life this year?

 

For blogging, I would say balance, as always. This time not with school but with writing. Now that I've gotten back into writing pretty consistently, I have to figure out how to prioritize between that and this blog. I definitely think that's something I need to figure out for this upcoming year.

And another thing I've been thinking about is just, what do I want? It's a question I ask myself every year, and now that I'm done school I'm considering committing more to this blog, making consistent posts and really trying to grow it a little bit. Ideally I'd like it to reach a bit wider of an audience, but I also want to keep the core of it - which is doing something that I enjoy and that I'm proud of. Just... I want to be a bit more consistent is all. 

7. Most popular post this year on your blog?

The interview I did with Kate Hart, which I'm so glad. I hope that interview helped at least a few more people find Kate Hart and her book, After the Fall, because she deserves all the attention. That interview was a long time coming, too, so I'm glad it did well.

8. Post you wished got a little more love?

All of them! :) They could all use some more love, but especially my poem project post. I'm really proud of that project and want more people to see it. If you're curious about my writing style, you might want to check that out.

9. Best bookish discovery (book related sites, book stores, etc)?

I'm not sure if this works, but this year I got heavily into Critical Role and the collaborative storytelling that is Dungeons and Dragons. Both Critical Role and D&D have opened my eyes to new and different ways of telling stories, and have helped me in my own writing as well. I'm really excited to see where it goes.

10. Did you complete any reading challenges or goals that you had set for yourself at the beginning of this year?

My goals for this year were pretty vague, but one of the things I talked about was sharing more of my own writing and writing process. I think I did that a bit, although I'd still love to do a bit more. I'm also sad that since I was traveling so much this summer I didn't get to do as much stuff for Women in Translation Month this year. But there's always next year! I'll talk more about my goals for the upcoming year in my New Year's post like I always do.

11. One thing you hope to accomplish or do in your blogging life in 2019?

I'll talk a bit more about this in my New Year's Post, but like I said, I want to start being way more consistent with my posts. Like maybe actually make a calendar or something. I'd also like to really commit to Women in Translation Month, and start up doing Local Book Nook posts again. (By the way, if you want to talk about local books, hit me up!)

Stay tuned for tomorrow when I'll go over last year's goals and look ahead to what's to come!

End of Year Survey 2018 Part 1: Books I Read This Year

Every year Jamie over at The Perpetual Page Turner does a survey to see what you read throughout the year. Here's a short review of some of the books I read this year, including a few that I didn't get the chance to do reviews of!

2018 Reading Stats

Number of Books You Read:

Number of Re-reads: 11 so far. I think I re-read pretty much all the YA romances I own, plus all my favourite fantasy books.

Genre You Read the Most From: Thanks to my re-read of YA romances, YA contemp, but fantasy (both YA and adult) is close second. I'm predictable if nothing else. I read in 11 different genres, and read a lot of poetry books this year for the first time which is fun!

1. Best book you read in 2018?

Definitely A Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers. It just somehow fulfilled everything that's always on my wishlist - great, world-sweeping imaginative sci-fi, and a focus on interesting, unique characters. Add in commentary on cross-cultural interaction and I am sold. I have been putting off re-reading it because I don't want it to be over again. You can read my overly gushy review here.

2. Book you were excited about and thought you were going to love more but didn't?

After reading Katherena Vermette's North End Love Songs, I was really excited to read her first novel, The Break, but it just didn't affect me as much as I expected it to. Still a good read, though, and an interesting look into family dynamics in the North End of Winnipeg.

3. Most surprising (in a good or bad way) book you read this year?

The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin! Big fat fantasy novels scare me sometimes just with all the new lore and stuff you have to learn at the beginning, but I just couldn't put it down. And there's lots of really interesting twists in it. I'm so annoyed that the sequel isn't available in the library yet! I want to read it now!!

4. Book you pushed the most people to read (and they did)?

I definitely pitched A Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet to a lot of people, because I really think anyone would enjoy it. And actually, my review got both of my parents to buy the book and re-read it! Doing my job right. :)

5. Best series you started in 2018? Best sequel of 2018? Best series ender of 2018?

The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin! I think the series if called the Broken Earth trilogy? I haven't read any new series sequels this year, but I did re-read Crooked Kingdom and man. That book is genius.

6. Favourite new author you discovered in 2018?

Looking back over my book log, I actually discovered lots of cool new authors! Becky Chambers and N.K. Jemisin I already mentioned, but I also fell in love with Claire Kann, Eden Robinson, Joshua Whitehead, Becky Albertalli, Alice Oseman, and a whole bunch of really cool poets.

7. Best book from a genre you don't typically read/was out of your comfort zone?

Most of the books I read this year that were out of my comfort zone I didn't really like... although I did read Eden Robinson's Son of a Trickster which is sort of fantasy/horror-esque. Creepy books are not my thing, but Eden Robinson does it so well. I'm so curious to read her newest book, Trickster Drift.

8. Most action-packed/thrilling/unputdownable book of the year?

Most action-packed, definitely Leigh Bardugo's Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom. But even it wasn't really action-packed, the most unputdownable was Alice Oseman's Radio Silence. I have no idea how a great friendship story is written in such an intense way. I stayed up way too late reading that book way too many nights. I need to get my hands on more of her books.

9. Book you read in 2018 that you're most likely to re-read next year?

A Long Way to a Small Angry Planet! I think that one might become one of my yearly re-reads it was that good.

10. Favourite cover of a book you read in 2018?

I love the cover for Tess of the Road by Rachel Hartman. So gorgeous.

11. Most memorable character of 2018?

All of the characters in A Long Way to a Small Angry Planet! They were all so unique and interesting. But if I had to pick one, I'd probably say -- actually never mind. I was going to pick one but then I was like - but that one's so interesting! So yeah, sticking with all of them. Read this book, people!!

12. Most beautifully written book of 2018?

Jonny Appleseed by Joshua Whitehead is a beautifully written, poetry of sadness book. But if I can pick a poetry collection, I would say This Wound is a World by Billy-Ray Belcourt. Every single poem in that collection knocked the wind out of me.

13. Most thought-provoking/life-changing book of 2018?

I read a lot of interesting, thought-provoking books this year, but one that I keep coming back to is a biography of Nelson Mandela called Nelson Mandela: The Revolutionary Years by David James Smith. This biography focused less on Mandela's career and activist work, and more on his family and how it affected them (spoiler alert: terribly). It painted a picture of how Mandela's activist work pretty much destroyed his family, and it really made me think about activist work in general and how it is way more gritty than the heroic narratives of history make it out to be. It's made me think a lot about my own life choices as well. If you can get your hands on it, I'd recommend it.

14. Book you can't believe you've waited until 2018 to finally read?

Becky Albertalli's books! Simon Vs. The Homo Sapien's Agenda has been on my radar for years, and I finally read through it (and Leah On The Offbeat) this year. They're now on my go-to list for fluffy contemps to re-read when I'm in a slump.

15. Favourite passage/quote from a book you read in 2018?

I didn't write down any specific quotes this year, but I think my favourite passage is a passage at the end of A Long Way to A Small Angry Planet where two friends tell each other what they mean to each other. It's beautiful.

16. Shortest and longest book you read in 2018?

Longest book - N.K. Jemisin's The Fifth Season (although it still seemed too short), shortest probably dodie's book Obsessions, Confessions and Life Lessons (also way too short).

17. Book that shocked you the most?

I don't think any of the books I read this year really shocked me... but I enjoyed them nonetheless!

18. Favourite book you read in 2018 from an author you've read previously?

Probably Tess of the Road by Rachel Hartman. It was a different kind of fantasy novel, but beautiful and engaging nonetheless.

19. Best book you read in 2018 that you read solely on a recommendation from someone else?

Oh! I read Sea Foam and Silence by Lynn E. O'Connacht based solely on a recommendation from Laura. It's a verse retelling of the little mermaid. I'm not usually one for verse novels, but I really liked this one, it was beautiful and nuanced and made me consider maybe reading some more verse novels. (Now that I'm a poetry connoisseur I think I would enjoy this even more!)

20. Best 2018 debut you read?

Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann!

21. Best worldbuilding/most vivid setting you read this year?

A Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet has the best world-building I've seen in a long time. It's so good.

22. Book that put a smile on your face/was the most FUN to read?

Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann was just the perfect amount of fluff and fun for me. Becky Albertalli's books came in a close second.

23. Book that made you cry or nearly cry in 2018?

All the gorgeous poetry I read, but mostly Billy-Ray Belcourt's This Wound is a World. It's so good it hurts. In the best way.

24. Hidden gem of the year?

Son of a Trickster by Eden Robinson! More people should be reading her work, because I think a lot of people would really enjoy her haunting fantasy world. 

25. Book that crushed your soul?

See number 23.

26. Most unique book of the year?

Maybe What to Do When I'm Gone by Suzy Hopkins and Hallie Bateman? A graphic memoir/love letter to your mother. 

27. Book that made you the most mad?

My review of Demi-Gods by Eliza Robertson says "I got literally nothing out of this book."

Well that's it for Part 1, check out Part 2 here and stay tuned for my 2019 goals!

Reflections of a NaNoWriMo Newbie

November has come and gone, which means that NaNoWriMo is officially over. I started the beginning of the month with some trepidation and uncertainty, but I finished it - and accomplished writing 50,000 words in a month - calmly and without fanfare.

But I did it! I completed my first NaNo, and it was pretty great. I just thought I'd share some of the things I've learned, and where I'm planning to go from here.

1. Slow and steady wins the race

NaNoWriMo is often associated in my mind with a desperate rush to the finish where you're writing 10,000 words per day to make your goal. I don't know why I thought this would be me, since I'm not a last-minute kind of person. In my five years of university, I never pulled an all-nighter. I just can't do that. Some people need the pressure of the finish line looming to complete things, but I don't. Basically, NaNo was a reminder that I really should be writing at least a little bit every day. On good days, I would write more than necessary and get a little bit ahead so I could relax on the days when I just couldn't squeeze in more than a few minutes of writing time. By the time November 30 rolled around, I only had an easy 500 words to finish off.

2. Writing in community is always better

Having so many people with the same goal as you, cheering each other on, is so valuable. Like I've said before, I've realized over the past few years that writing shouldn't be a solitary thing. It's so much more fun and purposeful if you have people writing alongside you, struggling with the same things, and have an understanding of what you're doing and why you're doing it. I also had people IRL cheering me on (if they slightly misunderstood), and that helped too.


3. Writing consistently is key

Having written in between homework and school stuff for so long, I'd often go for weeks without writing anything, and it's really hard to get back into wherever I was thinking for the story and characters after a few day or week break. It's much easier to keep a pulse on where I want the story to go when I'm immersed in it almost every day.

These are all definitely lessons that I've talked about before, but they're definitely things I need to keep reminding myself. And mostly that I just need to write. I just need to get words on a page, and after that everything comes more easily. It's kind of weird, how I've been writing for years but I feel like I'm only just starting to figure out how to be a writer.

As for what's next... well I now have two drafts of things sitting for a bit until I go back to touch them up and then do the scary part... sending them off to people I trust for edits. In the meantime, though, I've got some ideas for a fantasy story so I think I'm going to take some time to do some world-building this month. Anyone have any world-building tips or tricks? How was your NaNo experience? Do you find NaNo valuable if you do it?

My First Time Doing NaNoWriMo

I am terrified.

That's what NaNoWriMo does: strikes terror into my heart. 50,000 words in a month, the goal of writers everywhere for November's dubbed National Novel Writing Month, is a lot. A LOT.

I've had many different relationships with NaNoWriMo. I've made excuses. I've publicly declared disgust for such an arcane practice so I could more easily get away with not doing it. I've used school, I've used work, I've told myself and others that's it's just too much, it's not for me. (And to be honest, if I was still in school, I would never do NaNo; November is an awful month for students. But that's another discussion.)

I've done less ambitious NaNos before. I've written 30,000 words in a month, twice. I've done Camp NaNoWriMo in summer (highly recommend for students). I've written two drafts in the past two years, more than I ever have, and if I happen to finish this current draft this November, I will have written TWO books in ONE year, which I don't think I've ever done. Ever.

I should be ready for this! Why am I not ready for this?

Maybe it's because I look at the month of November, think, 1,677 words a day.... I can't do this. What if I can't do this? I'm already behind! I'm not one of those writers that can write ten thousand words in one sitting! Sometimes I can't even get out five hundred! 

I can't do this.

But then I yell back at that doubting, panicking voice: it doesn't matter. I'm going to try. Self-doubt has plagued me before and has made me not want to write for years. I have a story I like, characters I like, and a great couple of critique partners currently to back me up. And, hopefully, I have you! If I've learned anything the last few years about the solitary activity of writing, is that it SHOULDN'T be solitary. It should be done in community with other like-minded, passionate individuals, interested in creating stories; with people who understand the ups and downs of this type of creative work. If you want to add me as a writing buddy, I'm asherlockwrites, or tweet me and we'll do sprints together or something!
 
Let's do this thing.

(also if you have any experience with NaNo whatsoever, please give me advice or tips, anything, thank you!!)

Review: Whenever You're Ready by Shawn DeSouza-Coelho

I am not a huge theatre nerd. In school I loved watching the musicals that my friends were in, but I never had any desire to get more involved than that one time I volunteered to do stage crew work. Then during the first show I forgot to move a prop off so the cast could do their dance properly, and that was it for my stage career.

However, Whenever You're Ready made me want to immediately move to Stratford, buy a lifetime membership to the Stratford Festival, and start working towards my new career in the theatre.

Whenever You're Ready is a biography of stage manager Nora Polley, who worked for 52 years at the Stratford Festival in Ontario. It's hailed as one of the only stage manager biographies around, and I'm sure people who know way more about Canadian theatre than me would devour it. But I enjoyed it immensely and I hadn't even heard of most of the people mentioned in this book (which I sorely regret now; they all sound like fascinating people).

Whenever You're Ready is a unique biography, in that it's actually written in first person, as if Nora Polley herself wrote it even though the authorship credit is given to Shawn DeSouza-Coelho. If you believe the afterword that everything is true to Nora Polley's experiences, it has the effect of a beautiful, immersive dive into Nora Polley's life, character, and career.

And what a career. Whenever You're Ready covers her first foray into the festival, to what she gets up to after her retirement with an amazing collection of fascinating theatre stories and the trials and tribulations of stage management in between.

While Whenever You're Ready is the biography of a stage manager, and it does contain many stage management anecdotes and things Nora learned along the way, it also profiles many other theatre people; actors, artistic directors, and other people involved in the theatre scene. Nora Polley's character shows through in the way she describes the people she worked with; her admiration for them and their work shines, and makes you wish you knew these people as she did. But you do get a glimpse of these incredibly unique, creative people as you read about her own career. In her first person biography, Nora Polley shines through as someone humble and hardworking, but also someone imperfect, human, and often unsure of her next step.

In any case, Whenever You're Ready paints a fascinating picture of an era in Canadian theatre, one filled with entertaining anecdotes, fascinating people, and one rock of a stage manager there to witness and work through it all. I think anyone who enjoys interesting life stories and has even just a passing interest in theatre should pick this up.

Whenever You're Ready on ECW Press
Whenever You're Ready on Amazon.com
Whenever You're Ready on Amazon.ca
Whenever You're Ready on Goodreads

5 Strategies to Actually Enjoy Reading Poetry (+ Recommendations!)

Yeah, I don't really "get" poetry. Poetry is too complicated. Poetry goes over my head. It's pretentious. It's for English major nerds. It's definitely not for me.

These phrases or variants of them are probably things you've either said sometime in life, or you've heard someone else say. I have definitely both said them and heard them said. Poetry is often thought of as complicated work that is hard to understand and inaccessible to most people.

Well, I'm hear to tell you, no longer!

I've gotten a lot more into reading poetry lately, mostly the result of a writer's festival I'm volunteering for. A lot of the writers I was unfamiliar with, so I thought I should read some of their work. Most of them turned out to be poets, so I ended up checking out a bunch of poetry books from the library and fell in LOVE.

Anyway here are some things I've kept in mind while reading poetry that have helped make it an entirely more enjoyable experience*:

1. Just read 

Read poetry as you would any other book - for enjoyment, line by line, taking in the words. You don't have to worry about extracting a certain meaning from the text because this is your reading time. Don't worry too much about trying to understand the poem either, just kind of let the words wash over you how they will. Getting frustrated that you aren't getting something is a sure fire way of taking the fun out of reading poetry.


2. Skip poems you don't like

Is there a poem that puts you off, or is just way too out there for you no matter how many times you reread it? Instead of feeling like a failure for not understanding great art, acknowledge that subjective experience is a thing and you won't click with every poem. The fun thing about poetry books is they include a whole bunch of poems - some that will click with you and make you feel like you were punched in the gut, and others that you'll breeze through and never think about again.


3. Let them connect with you where you're at

One of the cool things about poetry is how they can really deeply speak to someone's experience. A certain poem you read may really impact you and speak to where your life or mindset is at the moment, and that's the really powerful, fun part of reading poetry. Hold on to those moments. Save your favourite poems to reread later when you're in that emotional space.


4. You don't have to read everything

Just like anything else, not all poems are for everyone! Find poems that *you* enjoy reading. There are so many different ways of writing poetry out there. Some styles might annoy you, so just stay away from those! Your pretentious artist cred won't be damaged if you skip over poems you don't like for ones you enjoy. Maybe you like T.S. Eliot. Maybe Rupi Kaur's simple but elegant style is more for you.

5. Don't care what other people think

Poetry is often given a bad image (mainly from terrible high school English classes, at least in my experience). In some literary circles, you can be put down from liking certain kinds of poets or liking poets that use language in a more direct way. You can be made to feel stupid for not understanding or liking old classic poets (probably old white men anyway), or childish for following your favourite Instagram poets. But I say poetry should be consumed and enjoyed, whatever way you might wish to do that. So don't care about the pretentious literary snobs. They aren't having as much fun as you.

So, now that you're super excited to get into poetry, where should you start? Well, I've got some great recommendations for you:

#IndianLovePoems by Tenille K. Campbell is a collection of poems on Indigenous intimacy, sexuality, love and family, interwoven with Indigenous cultural images. The poems are quick and easy to read, but they are also hilarious and bold. It's a stunning and confident collection which you should go read right now.

This Wound is a World by Billy-Ray Belcourt knocked me off my feet from the very first poem. I would dog-ear the entire book if I wasn't borrowing it from the library (I will buy it asap don't worry). These poems focus on themes of Indigenous and queer identity, and the sadness that can be encompassed in that, but also the beauty of feeling that sadness. Belcourt says in his afterword that his book is "nothing if not a tribute to the potentiality of sadness" and that sharing the feeling of being lonely or alone is a way to make new forms of collectivity. His poems are absolutely heartbreaking but in the best, most cathartic way.









questions i asked my mother by Di Brandt was a book that shook up Mennonite communities when it was first published, and it still has the potential to speak to religious communities today, with commentary included in her poems on traditional religious roles, traditional communities, patriarchy, women’s speech and sexuality. It presents these themes in beautiful unstructured poems that have incredible depth to them.

Unstable Neighbourhood Rabbit by Mikko Harvey is an absolutely fascinating collection of poems that turns the world on its head. These are the kinds of poems that after you've finished them you feel like you've been punched in the gut because they turn out to be about something different than you originally thought. I had the opportunity to hear the title poem of this book read aloud by Harvey, and after he finished it you could literally hear the audience exclaim under their breath in awe and wonder.

Well, there you have it. You now have all the tools to be a poetry connoisseur, and be exposed to some great, world-changing writing.







*Disclaimer: while these strategies can be useful for enjoying poetry again, they should not be used for poetry analysis for classes. Although I've found knowing how to analyze poetry actually aids in my enjoyment sometimes! However, this is basically just a guide to remove some barriers and get you started. 

Review: Nobody Cares by Anne T. Donahue

On the back page of Nobody Cares is the catch phrase "Just a girl, standing in front of  a reader, reminding them they aren't alone." That line pretty much sums up the feeling of the book: a simple book of relatable personal essays.

Nobody Cares is based off Anne T. Donahue's online newsletter of the same name, and you can definitely feel that Donahue has an internet audience in mind throughout her book. While none of the personal essays really hit me hard, it was partly my own expectations, and I still enjoyed it enough to read the entire book fairly quickly. In some parts I did wish she dug a bit deeper, but I don't think that's what this book is trying to do.

The personal essays in Nobody Cares are light, short personal lessons that the author has learned over the course of her life. Basically each one is in the style of an inspirational online article. It's half advice column, half diary entry. They cover a variety of situations in Donahue's life, from friendship and dating to just things you learn growing up. A lot of her essays also focus on her personal experiences with anxiety, and learning that "nobody cares." Donahue's honest voice and ability to laugh at herself makes Nobody Cares an entertaining read.

I think this book would be a good gift book for anyone in your life, perhaps especially people who suffer from anxiety since a lot of Anne's personal essays focus on that. It was very much a feel-good book of essays. A good quick, easy read for a sunny day.

Nobody Cares on ECW Press
Nobody Cares on Amazon.ca
Nobody Cares on Amazon.com
Nobody Cares on Goodreads

I Accidentally Started and Finished a Poem Project

I'm not quite sure how it happened. One year, I had created a mostly dormant Instagram account solely to see photos of my friend's baby, and I named it asherlockwrites because that was already my username on Twitter. I didn't really use it much until this summer, when, inspired by a few friends I started posting more ~artsy~ posts (check them out here, here and here). And I reminded myself of my goal to share more writing this year, everywhere and anywhere.

And my username was a. sherlock writes after all. May as well use it to do some writing.

So I started this project on a whim of inspiration and a healthy dose of "just do it." I started with a quick little thing I wrote, inspired by a beaver my dad and I saw on a bike ride one day in early spring.

After that, I saw the string of words that I had displayed on my wall, words that were reminders for me of things I'd learned over the past year. I had drawn them with watercolour paints and displayed them so I would be reminded daily of these things. What if, I thought... what if I created a poem for each word, trying to express the lesson I had learned? And if I alternated the words with like, scenery or something? That also included poems?

This project started as a kind of accidental waterfall where I ended up just going with the flow. But it became an exercise in vulnerability, being okay with imperfection, and making myself actually sit down and write. All the poems are pretty rough still, and I'm definitely not 100% happy with all of them, but that wasn't the point. The point was saying: just post it. Stop caring about it being perfect, being ready. Just get it out there.

And you know, I ended up quite liking sharing my poem project this time (the other time I did a poem project like this, I didn't share it). I like the comments and connections I made, the knowledge that maybe some people got what I was trying to say, or maybe they were reminded of something or learned something from lessons I had learned previously. Vulnerability, I've been learning this year, can be pretty powerful.

So I present to you a selection from my summer poem project, lessons & travels. You can read the complete project at instagram.com/asherlockwrites.

(also please read them on Instagram because otherwise the formatting of the poems gets messed up! This is what I get for using social media to post poetry, I guess.)

View this post on Instagram

wait. a word for a season of letting go and moving on, for stumbling through (too many) possibilities. a word that begs for stopping; for gratitude, pause and reflection. for release and rest, trusting and unagitated. a word unsettling and unsatisfying. another version, a sparkle in an eye: just you wait.

A post shared by @ asherlockwrites on May 10, 2018 at 3:22pm PDT

View this post on Instagram

could contentment be this: feeling the pull of the current suspended in time the only traffic sounds bird chirps and a million mysteries laid out on the riverbank, forgotten about for now

A post shared by @ asherlockwrites on Jun 25, 2018 at 9:32am PDT

View this post on Instagram

prairie ocean black, red-winged fish chirp diving in and out of green and yellow waves while riding through the part in the sea swallowed by the wide open blue happily surrendered to drowning

A post shared by @ asherlockwrites on Jul 6, 2018 at 2:10pm PDT

View this post on Instagram

gut reaction: revolt harbour hurts as a handful of arrows pile them up for protection except i'm the one being pierced upon reflection: bury all weapons all chipped story endings leave behind graves of what c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶e̶n̶ never was believe in beginnings

A post shared by @ asherlockwrites on Aug 24, 2018 at 3:33pm PDT

More posts from this year's writing series:
Begin Again, about how to start again after writing slumps
Scared of Being Afraid about how rewarding it is to share work
You, about the loveliness of everyone's unique writing style